end to the old

Well it was to good to last. My relationship is over. It is now time to move on. Things change and people change. I now moved back to Midwest city and will find a place of my own. I will start a new life. Things will be better. I still love him, but it is now over.

lonely nights

At night I am alone. The love of my life works nights. He comes home and goes to bed and I don't get to say a word to him until he wakes up at around 3pm. I sometimes have a hard time getting to sleep. On the weekends when he gets home, I get to sleep in just long enough for us to hold each other. The sound of him breathing and his heart beating puts me right back to sleep. In his arms I feel safe.

It has been a while sense my last blog. I have been busy. God has a way with answering us when we pray. It may not be exactly what you were praying about, but he knows what we do and do not need. I have been praying for something and me being the human that I am thought that he would answer right away. Well God answers in his own time. Some of us need to learn that if we pray, we must wait and listen. It will not be that very same day, it might be next week that you get what is needed, or even the next year. Some of us tend to read the Bible wrong and our human way of thinking gets in the way and that leads to the devil being able to sweep us off our feet. Then we end up back in the hole we were trying to climb out of before. I should know. I have been in the same hole for so long that for a while I got use to living in it and thought that this was how things are suppose to be. Now I am slowly trying again to climb out of the hole, but this time I will not do it alone. We should never be ashamed to ask for help. As I asked for help, I have learned new things about myself that I have never knew before. Maybe it is time for you to take a good look at your life. Are you at a point of no return or is there hope yet. I pray that God will watch over you and I hope you learn something new everyday.

Excitement on becoming an aunt

The day I found out that I was becoming an aunt was an exciting and scary day. It was exciting because I get to be an aunt. It was scary because it made me realize how old I really am. The day I first got to see the little one was at an ultrasound appointment. My sister-in-law, my Brother, and I got to see it move. I was so moved, I wanted to cry tears of joy. When I found out that it is going to be a girl, my heart leaped for joy. I found out that she will be born in June, that made me even more happy, because my birthday is in June. I may live about an hour away from them, but I will find a way to be there the day she is born. I want her to know that her aunt is there for her and will love her forever. The day she comes into this world, I want to be there. I am so excited.

Answer to the questions

I have had a lot of people email me some questions, so I will answer them all on this blog. First question is:"How does it feel getting back with your first husband?" It feels great being with him. He is my first true love. The next question was: "Why would you want to get back with him after you both divorced each other?" Why not? I love him. He shows me real love. We have both made mistakes and have regrets in the past and getting a divorce was one of them. We both forgave each other and we love each other so we decided to give it another try. "If you got back with your first husband and if things did not work out, would you go back to your second husband?" No I would not. My second husband was very abusive and I would not put myself back in that relationship ever again. I am committed to working things out with my first husband. "Are you ever going to marry your first husband?" That is between me and him. Right now I am not thinking about marriage after just getting a divorce. Right now I want to rebuild a relationship with him. "What do you think the future hold for you and your boyfriend?" I have no idea. I am living for today. I will just take one step at a time. Tomorrow is just another day and we will handle what comes our way when we get there. I have faith in God that he will show us the way. That is all the questions I got. If I ever get anymore, I will answer them as they come along.

The tattle-telling adult

Like children, the tattle-telling adult likes to get others in trouble just as long as the blame is not on them. These people are never happy unless someone is in trouble. They live their lives running around finding someone to tell on. Even if that person has done nothing wrong, the tattle-telling adult will find something to tell on them about. They use tattle-telling to get ahead in a job, end relationships, ruin families, and ruin someones life. I have met these people. My second husband was a tattle-telling adult. Some of these tattle-telling adults have ruined things in my life. Anger is not the way to deal with these people. I have had to learn that forgiveness and understanding is the only way to deal with them. Sometimes talking to them to see why they have a problem with you works and sometimes it don't. There is no way to avoid a tattle-telling adult because they are everywhere. I knew this one that had kids and told their children not to tattle-tell and then turned around to tattle-tell on someone. If you know a tattle-telling adult, just pray for them and forgive them. Like I said before, anger is not the way to deal with them, for anger will cause more trouble. Avoiding them will also cause trouble.

Living with bipolar and other mental problems

It is a constant battle everyday. It is worse if you have mental problems. I have bipolar. There are days that are really good and there are days when nothing seems to go right. It is like a really bad roller coaster. It don't help when your loved ones and friends don't understand. On top of having bipolar, I hear voices and see things. Medication helps most of the time, but there are times when the medication does not work. I really like to be happy, but sometimes I just start feeling sad for no reason, or angry for no reason. I am still a person, but when I tell someone that I have bipolar, they treat me like I am crazy and stupid. I have feelings and I am smart. Those of you who have the same problems know how I feel. I tried running away from it. I tried ignoring it. I even tried hiding it. That all ended bad. As for the voices and seeing things, it is somewhat under control. Talking about this does make me feel better and helps people to understand what a person with bipolar goes through. So the next time someone tells you that they have a mental problem, don't treat them bad, show them some respect like you would show any one else. We are people also.